LIVING AS A FRIEND OF THE BRIDEGROOM
INTRODUCTION:
And they came to John and said to him, "Rabbi, He who was with you beyond the Jordan, to whom you have
testified – behold, He is baptizing, and all are coming to Him!" John answered and said, "A man can receive
nothing unless it has been given to him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, 'I am not
the Christ,' but, 'I have been sent before Him.' He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the
bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this
joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:26-30 NKJV
We are living in the beginning of the time in which God is prepared to fulfill a prophetic promise spoken in 1982 – that
there would come a season in which He would “change the nature and expression of Christianity in one generation”.
It is my belief that in the testimony of John the Baptist in John 3:26-30 we can discern four significant components of this
new and revitalized way of expressing our faith in Christ.
The context of the passage presents a situation that is common to all who know the temptation of gaining significance
by the sphere of influence that is around us. The disciples of John the Baptist were beginning to leave him to follow Jesus,
and several of John’s loyal followers were expressing their concern over the apparent threat to his ministry. John’s
response gives us a clear way forward as we seek to live as Friends of the Bridegroom.
I. A MAN CAN RECEIVE NOTHING UNLESS IT HAS BEEN GIVEN TO HIM FROM HEAVEN
A. One’s sphere of influence – whether it be one or two people or a worldwide ministry – is given by God alone. This inheritance
is revealed to us in the place of prayer – see David’s example in 2 Samuel 7.
B. We must understand and accept God’s standard of measuring success
1. Faithfulness – see Luke 16:10-12; 1 Corinthians 4:2
2. Relationship – see Luke 10:20; Matthew 7:23
C. One’s sphere of influence may be increased by the blessing of God
1. Through faithful stewardship – see Matthew 25:14-23
2. Through intercession – see the story of Jabez in 1 Chronicles 4:9-10
II. HE WHO HAS THE BRIDE IS THE BRIDEGROOM
In our roles of ministry, we stand as the servants of another Man’s wife
A. We are spiritual “eunuchs” – not relating to the Bride of Christ for our own benefit, i.e. Hegai in the book of Esther
chapter 2
B. Our responsibility is to present the Bride faultless before her Beloved
1. Our goal is not the building of a ministry, but the preparation of the Bride of Christ for His good pleasure – see Paul’s
testimony in Colossians 1:24-29
2. We stand in the sober role of prophetic intercessors on behalf of the Bride of Christ – see Samuel’s example in
1 Samuel 12:23
3. From the place of prophetic intercession, we declare the cleansing Word over the Bride that prepares her and
calls her forth into her destiny – see Ephesians 5:25-27
This is the reality of being spiritual fathers and mothers, regardless of our age or gender
III. OUR IDENTITY MUST BE FOUND SOLELY IN BEING FRIENDS OF THE BRIDEGROOM
There are three characteristics of those who stand as Friends of the Bridegroom
A. A Friend of the Bridegroom stands and hears Him. This “standing and hearing” is the fundamental posture of
intimacy, and is how we experience our personal identity as Christ’s Bride
1. It is Jesus’ own posture of intimacy with the Father – see John 5:19; 8:28
2. It is our expression of the example of Mary of Bethany, who “sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His Word” – Luke 10:39
B. A Friend of the Bridegroom rejoices greatly because of the Bridegroom’s voice
1. This is the fruit of intimacy – fullness of joy based in hearing His voice
2. This is our experience of “the kisses of His mouth” – see Song of Solomon 1:2
C. Therefore my joy is full. We are built to thrive on the Word of God, to receive all our identity and joy from the voice of
the Lord. In Ephesians 3:16-19 we see a powerful double expression of the voice of the Lord to us:
1. The first hearing is the voice of the Father – we are rooted and grounded in love by the ministry of the Spirit of
the Father – see Romans 8:15
2. As we are established in the Father’s love, we hear the voice of the Bridegroom that brings us to fullness of joy.
3. Therefore we are freed from the trap of trying to gain identity and fulfillment from the size of our sphere of
influence, and can hold things with an open hand and heart.
IV. HE MUST INCREASE AND I MUST DECREASE
As we are established in the joy of Bridegroom’s love, we learn to stand in true humility.
A. True humility is agreement with God concerning your true identity and destiny. We simply receive what He has given us,
knowing that our joy is settled in being loved and loving Him.
B. This “decrease” is not a disappearance or an insignificance, but a transparency that is borne of congruence with
Jesus’ nature and style. As we minister, people see Jesus.
CONCLUSION: As we learn to live and minister as Friends of the Bridegroom, the structures and styles of ministry will
be transformed, and the obstacles to conversion and discipleship will be removed. May the Spirit of the Lord be upon us!