How Jesus Transforms His Bride:
The Power of Cherishing
I. THE HOLY SPIRIT’S EMPHASIS
A. One of the primary emphases of the Holy Spirit in the Church in this hour is to honor women. Much of the Body of
Christ has failed to do this throughout Church history. The feminist movement is a reaction to the failure of men to see
women in the way that God does. They fight to be honored because men have failed to give them the honor that God
gives them.
B. One of the enemy’s greatest assaults is to minimize the value of motherhood. Mothers are the most influential
people on earth, for good or bad. Women have also been the workforce in the kingdom.
C. Jesus motivates His people to obedience with warnings, promises and the power of cherishing. He cherishes His
Bride as the most effective way to transform her until she walks free of compromise.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord…25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the
church and gave Himself for her…27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle…
and without blemish…29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the
church. (Eph. 5:22-29)
D. Husbands are to imitate Jesus’ leadership style in this. If we appeal to Scripture to demand that our wife submit,
then we are operating in a wrong spirit.
E. One theme of the Song of Solomon is how Jesus cherishes His Bride. The Lord names us according to budding
virtues that are just beginning to grow in our heart (Song 4:1-5). For example, Jesus sees the cry or longing in our spirit
to be dedicated to Him, long before we walk it out in a mature way. Men must bless the budding virtues in their wife.
F. Jesus gave Simon a new name, calling him Peter (Mt. 16:18). Peter in Greek (petros) means the rock. This name
emphasized Peter’s stability in leadership. Jesus gave it to him knowing that he would deny the Lord three times
(Mt. 26:75) and yield to the fear of man in Antioch (Gal. 2:11-14).
G. Encouragement is to put courage in the heart of others by speaking affirming truths about them. It is not enough
to just think affirming truths about them; we must speak the obvious because the Devil obscures these truths to wear
them down with accusation and condemnation, so they give up.
13 Encourage one another daily…that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. (Heb. 3:13, NIV)
H. A woman is clothed with honor by doing honorable acts and by being honored by her husband and children.
Do you clothe your wife with honor? People live more honorably, if they receive honor. Those who are “honor starved”
exhibit less honor in their lives. Honor causes our heart to flourish.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing…28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises
her… (Prov. 31:25, 28)
II. PRACTICAL WAYS TO HONOR OUR WIFE
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being
heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Pet. 3:7)
A. Scripture calls us to understand and honor our wife as equal partners or heirs in the kingdom. Any man who fails
to do this will be hindered in his prayer life. We must give her equal respect in the kingdom as co-heirs in the grace of
God. Growing in prayer is linked to honoring and understanding women. The end-time prayer movement is a movement
to honor marriage.
B. We commit to understand and honor our wife regardless of how we feel about her romantically.
C. Commitment #1: To seek to understand our wife. Gaining this insight takes time, energy and focus. We must both
ask our wife and the Lord for insight into her heart.
D. Commitment #2: To verbalize the budding virtues in her life that she may lose sight of, instead of focusing on
speaking about her deficiencies and weakness. I recommend a “ten to one ratio” of affirmation to correction in marriage
and parenting relationships.
E. We must ask the Lord to show us how He views our wife and thus to see the truth of who she is. Ask Him to let
you see your wife’s heart in the way He sees it. You are to partner with Jesus in calling your wife forth. She is to hear
the Lord’s voice of honor and affirmation through your lips.
F. Commitment #3: To verbalize the value of her ministry in the home (dignity of motherhood) or outside the home
(in the Church, community service or marketplace, etc.).
G. Commitment #4: To show leadership by being the first to humble ourselves in a conflict.
H. Commitment #5: To lead her spiritually by our lifestyle choices that help us cultivate passion for Jesus. One of the
greatest gifts we can give our wife is to cultivate spiritual depth in our life.
I. Commitment #6: To commit to our wife to not regularly relate to or work with (if we have a choice) another woman
that she feels uncomfortable with for any reason (discernment or jealousy, etc.). Jealousy like fear does not “just go
away” by resisting it. It is replaced by growing confidence.
J. Commitment #7: To contend for her honor by teaching our children to honor her by their words and actions. It is a
husband’s responsibility to contend for his wife’s honor in the home. He ensures that she never has to fight for her own
honor. If our wife must raise her voice to make the children obey, then our job is not done. Children honor their mother
to the degree they see their fathers do it.
K. Many men assume that they are already walking in most of these principles. Occasionally ask your wife for input
on how you can improve in these areas. Some women will most effectively respond to this by writing their answers
(some even use email for this).